


Where Were You? (Snowbaz)

by Explizit_Lizards



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, During Carry On, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, SnowBaz, chapter 61, if it happened sooner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:13:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26299210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Explizit_Lizards/pseuds/Explizit_Lizards
Summary: If Simon and Baz discovered their love for each other sooner.
Relationships: Snowbaz - Relationship, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Where Were You? (Snowbaz)

SIMON  
I make my way back from the dining hall unable to get Baz out of my head, which isn’t that unusual I’m always thinking of Baz lately. It’s been ten times worse having him not be here then when he is. My brain wraps round and round trying to come to a conclusion to where he might be, but I can’t fucking figure it out. I’m stuck here thinking of Baz, thinking of Baz, thinking of Baz. And it is just like magic, as if I somehow said some magic word, as if I’d conjured the devil out of thin air. I feel something is off when I’m ascending the stairs up to our room and there he is at the top of the stairs about to open the door to our room, he must not have seen me yet. Bloody hell there he is. I think I lost my fucking mind. I pounce on him right as he is about to open the door. He lets out a yelp of surprise, then I have him, my four arm pressing his chest against the wall. I want to pat him down make sure he doesn’t have any weapons, to make sure he isn’t hurt to make sure... I don’t know what, I don’t know what I’m doing. But I have him now I finally fucking have him. All I can manage is a growl. 

BAZ  
I’ll admit I was surprised when Snow pounced on me and I’m a bit ashamed to say I was caught too by surprise to fend him off of me. He’s got me pressed against the wall not hard, but hard enough to let me know that he can make it hurt if he wants to.  
“Snow. I see you haven’t changed.”  
He snarls at this. Always a man of few words.   
“Where have you been?” he splutters.  
“Worried about my well-being are you Snow?” I say this smoothly, so I sound more in control of the situation then I am. I’m honestly just so tired that I’m not quite sure what is going on. I want to push away but something twisted inside of me is enjoying the closeness of Snow's lips to mine.  
“Snow, will you please get off me before I light you on fire,” believe me I mean that in the politest way possible. He starts blundering again it’s pathetic and I honestly don’t have the time to spend all day pinned against the wall.  
“Where have you been?” he repeats pushing his arm harder into my chest.   
“It’s none of your damn business, now would you get off.” I try to push him away but he holds me fast. Something in his face changes as I struggle, the glint of fury is gone replaced with something I can’t quite decipher, concern maybe. What is this?  
“I was s...so worried... I... damn you Baz.” He licks his lips and it makes my stomach flip. His lips are so close to mine I don’t think I can take it, I don’t know what Snow's stuttering about but I don’t think I can handle it. 

SIMON  
I must be using magic to keep Baz pinned to the wall because he’s stopped fighting back, I wasn’t trying to use magic, but I can’t really control these things. I don’t know what I expected to do with him once I had him pinned to the wall, but now that I have him here, I don’t want to let him go. I feel safe having him here where I know that he’s not hurt or dead, I like knowing where he is. I start rambling but I don’t know what I’m trying to say, I tell him I was worried. Why am I telling him this? I hate him! How could I ever be worried about such a slag like him? Something deep inside of me churns and I know that deep down I am worried. I lean my face closer to his and I’m practically seething. Our noses are practically touching. I think I just want him to see me, I guess I want him to feel intimidated, which isn’t something I’m good at making people feel. He squirms from the closeness.  
“Why have you not been at school? where have you been?” I think my words are drenched in magic because he opens his mouth to answer, but I don’t want that, I can’t force him to talk it’s not right. I feel so many emotions flash through me I know I probably look mad, crazy, I don’t know why I can’t control my emotions. Then I look down and his mouth is apart to answer, and his lips are right there, and I don’t know why I do it. I raise my lips to touch his and he stops fighting against me and I think he closes his eyes and I think I close mine. I think for a second that he’s doing this, magically making me kiss him, because why would I do that? Why would I kiss him? What’s wrong with me? I pull away with a jerk, our lips pulling— snapping apart. I think I must have teleported way from him because I’m now standing three feet away. He stares at me his mouth slightly open a look of pure confusion on his face. So, before he can say anything, I punch him square in the side of the head. Then I run. Because I didn’t know what else to do.

BAZ  
I put my hand not to the welt where bloody Simon Snow punched me, but to where he kissed me. He kissed me. Not in thousands of years did I ever think Snow would kiss me, but he did. I think I’m in shock, that or I have a concussion from where he punched me. He kissed me. Now he’s gone. But he kissed me. It was very tough, he kind of just shoved his lips onto mine then just as quickly pulled away and now he’s gone. But he kissed me. Fuck, I guess I should go after him. I shake myself from my trance and go running off after Snow. I can feel his magic all around me it’s electrifying the air and leaves the taste of metal in my mouth. His magic pulls me to him like a beacon, I follow the trail of his magic into the woods until I finally find him sitting on the ground. His knees are bent to his chest and his head is in his hands and I think he’s crying.  
“Simon?”

SIMON  
He says my name as if it’s magic, it sounds so beautiful in his mouth. I don’t want him here, I don’t want him to see me like this, he’ll probably just use all of this against me, use it to manipulate me.  
“Go away,” my voice still comes out a growl. He comes closer to me and puts his hand on my shoulder I flinch away, but he doesn’t move his hand.  
“Please just leave me alone.” I cry, I’m still crying, and I hate it, I hate crying in front of Baz. I hate doing anything in front of Baz. I hate Baz.  
“Simon,” he says again. His voice is soft and comforting I didn’t think it was possible for him to say anything without a sneer. “Simon why did you kiss me?”  
I turn away from him. Why did I kiss him? I still don’t know.  
“It was a mistake; believe me it will never happen again.” My words make him run his fingers through his hair causing some of it to fall into his face and I have a sudden urge to push it behind his ear. I don’t though, I just look away.

BAZ  
I think this is the first time I’ve ever wanted to make Simon stop crying. I think it almost broke my heart seeing him here looking so pathetic on the forest floor, magic and tears flowing through him. I’m still afraid that he might go off, but I’ve never been afraid of Snow. I will admit, I’m a little pissed that he said kissing me was a mistake. But of course, what else would it have been. I can’t think of any feasible reason why the chosen one, the Mage’s heir would kiss someone like me. All I know is that we’ve got to get out of the bloody forest.  
“Come on Snow we can’t stay out here all night.” I give him my hand to help him up. I don’t know which of us is more surprised when he takes my hand, he looks almost like he’s in a trance. Then he falls into my arms and I hold him. Part of me panics and wants to just drop him and get the hell out of here. But I know I could never do that. I’ve got my arms around him and his head is on my chest and his hands are curled in fists clinging to my shirt. I know that he’s getting tears and snot all over my shirt, but I don’t care, I keep my arms locked around him. Part of me is afraid that if he lets go that he’ll just fall apart.  
“This Isn’t how things are supposed to happen.” he sniffles into my shirt. “This is all wrong.” I just hold him tighter.  
“Shh,” I coo, “it’s going to be alright; I’ve got you.” I feel five years old again back at the nursery, ‘it’s okay little puff.’ I don’t know how much longer we stand there; I think I could have stood there forever Simon snow in my arms.

SIMON  
I think I’m finally all cried out. I still don’t understand why Baz is being so nice to me, or why I’m letting him. He’s been running his fingers through my hair and it feels so nice, I think this is something I’ve wanted for a while. I finally take my head off of his chest and look up at him he looks afraid, I’m kind of afraid too. What if this all ends and we start trying to kill each other again? God, I hope that doesn’t happen. So instead I take his face in my hands, my thumb brushing against his cheek bones and I kiss him. For real this time. His lips are cold against mine; he’s freezing to the touch. I wonder if he is dead. I decided that he couldn’t be dead, he feels too alive in my hands. I’m kissing Baz, I’m kissing a boy. I’m Kissing Baz.


End file.
